Uncle Shafiq, by Rory Godinho I am honoured to say a few words on behalf of our whole extended family about our dear Uncle Shafiq. He touched many of you in many different ways, and I am sure during the past few weeks you have all reminisced about your own personal experiences with him. You have heard and are aware of his many accomplishments in politics, business and, when he was young, sports. He was a multifaceted individual, strong and consistent in his convictions, opinionated in his beliefs, a leader among men. I am sure you will all remember him, as I do, for his style and panache and for his great presence, but I think the mark of a great man like Uncle Shafiq, is how away from all the glory and glare, he showed his compassion and generosity for others in less fortunate positions. In that regard, he was unparalleled in our family. Like all of you I was greatly saddened to hear of his passing, but I was fortunate in one respect, and that was because when my parents passed away, I recognized that too often we don't take the time to tell people how much they mean to us; how important they have been to us in our lives; how they made a difference to our well being; how much we love and respect them. So about 10 years ago when he had his first heart attack it jolted me into the realization that he probably had no idea how much he meant to our family, and as he was not the type of person who would easily accept public accolades, I decided to write him a private letter. I started with all good intentions but the crush of daily responsibilities kept intervening, such that I kept adding a paragraph here and there as the years went by. Then last year, he said he was going to make a special trip to come and see us. I am sure it was because he must have promised my Mum that he would check up on her family, to make sure we were O.K. For after my Dad had passed away, he took a paternal interest in our lives. Even a continent away, he wanted to know not only what we were up to, but what all our children were doing! It was this intense personal interest and warmth that made him so special to his nieces and nephews. I can't tell how comforting it is, even for … dare I say it … middle aged children who have lost their parents, to know that their parents' friends and family have not forgotten you and are watching out for you. We had a great, albeit too brief visit with him. In any event, I decided that I'd better finish my epistle and finally give it to him. I thought it would be worth taking the risk that he might think I was crazy or at the least a procrastinator of the worst order. But it was one of the best things I have done. I begged him to write his memoirs, as I know all too well that much of your personal history is lost once you pass on. He had such an extraordinary life, that it would be a shame to have his stories fade with the mists of time. Regrettably, he was stolen from us before he had the chance. He was the epitomy of a self made man. From humble beginnings, he rose to great heights. The irony of the phrase " self made man", is that there are always quiet helpers behind the scenes. In Shafiq's case it would be remiss not to mention his eldest brother Rafiq, who helped finance his education, his other brothers and sisters, Rafi, Razia and Snobar who were his steady supporters and confidantes and of course his loyal wife Leana. He was so interesting, well informed and always maintained an interest in issues of social justice and egalitarianism. A few weeks after he received the letter, he called me to let me know much he missed my Mum and Dad; how happy he was to see us all settled with our next generation thriving, and how he appreciated how much we cared about him. I won't go into details of that 10 year in the making letter, but I would like to share some snippets with you. As you know Shafiq was not our "blood" uncle, but came into our lives when he married my aunt Leana in 1966. It must have taken some nerve in those days for a young Muslim man to propose to the lovely daughter of a very prominent Catholic family; but nerve he had in spades (along with all kinds of charisma), such that she simply couldn't refuse and he soon won over her family. I don’t' recall much of him in those early years in Uganda, other than visiting Bugalobi and seeing his "Princess" Mona, who was absolutely the cutest baby, at much the same age as young Cassim is now. I've been told about how the young man from the Landis first gained notoriety as a cricketing phenomenon, astonishing the community by being selected at the tender age of 14 to represent his country. He was obviously a gifted athelete, and i'm sure honed his competitive skills on the playing fields of East Africa. By all accounts he cut a dashing figure and attracted all manner of friends. Perhaps this is what drove him to care for all people, regardless of their colour or religion. His compassion and leadership qualities made politics his natural calling. As you have heard he quickly rose to prominence. But as a young boy I didn't know much of his career. It wasn't until my sister and I were in school in England that we got to know him better. He was our legal guardian and we spent many half-term holidays at the Arain's beautiful home in Datchet - the Woollacombe, by the river Thames. He was always welcoming; generous and lots of fun. His compassion and generosity was most evident when our family had to flee Uganda following Amin's expulsion of the Asians in 1972. It was a time of terrible dislocation, stress in hindsight almost too difficult to comprehend. A time of turmoil, fear, uncertainty. It was then that Shafiq, who undoubtedly had his own stress, showed what it means to be a true brother and son-in-law, and for us an Uncle who deserved our undying gratitude and respect. He quickly took charge of matters, brought all of us, my grandmother, aunts, uncles, cousins, the whole shebang as Mum would say to stay with him and Auntie Leana; found us a place to temporarily move to and provided great comfort and solace. As I said at both my parent's funerals, I can't imagine how shocking the whole experience must have been; in my view it certainly took years from their lives, but it would have been even worse had Uncle Shafiq and Auntie Leana not stepped up to help. While several of our families eventually moved on to start life anew in Canada, they gladly accommodated my Grandmother and Aunt Flora. So much kindness, so much generosity without expecting anything in return. You could not ask more from your own son or brother. It is something we should all learn from, a shining example to follow. It left an indelible impression on all of us. I know my parents were especially fond of Shafiq, and he of them and us. I am sure he knew how they struggled to adapt to life as refugees in a strange land. He was always willing to listen, console and encourage, and my Mum in particular loved hearing from him. I think they shared a special bond, perhaps forged from both being in-laws to the Godinho family, and I know he was especially fond of my dear sister, Lisette. For as much as he liked pomp and ceremony, I think he was very astute and appreciated uncontrived affection, intelligence and a good heart. I'm sure that is why he had so many long lasting lifetime friendships. I'm sure that is why he remained so close to his dear siblings and their children. There were two events that stand out in my memory. Growing up as struggling new immigrants in Canada, we could not afford any fancy vacations, and so when Uncle Shafiq and Auntie Leana offered to take me on vacation to Spain, it was a thrill. What a vacation it was. A whole new world. A chance to get to know my young cousins. It was fantastic, one of the best vacations I've ever had. They extended the same hospitality to several of my other cousins and I'm sure all of them experienced the same generosity. Apart from cruising around with Sasha, what I remember most was how I admired Uncle Shafiq's flair and élan. He was always interesting to talk to… politics, current affairs and the state of the world were his passion until the end. The experience made such an impression on me that some years later, I decided that we should make it a family tradition, and I fully intend to take my young nieces and nephews on vacation with us. It's what family is all about. So my first visit to Spain was great, but my second was still better. When I decided to get married I had only been practicing law for a short time, and my fiancé and I, in a fit of practicality, decided to use all our savings for a down payment on an old dilapidated house we wanted to make our home. So I couldn't afford an engagement ring let alone a honeymoon. Once again Uncle Shafiq and Auntie Leana came to the rescue. They offered to put us up in Puerto Banus and I secretly arranged the whole trip and surprised my wife at our wedding reception. We left the next day and spent the next two weeks having a wonderful time with him in Spain. Lisa, my wife was enthralled with the place and Shafiq and her got along like the proverbial house on fire. How do you ever thank someone for such an indulgence? We will never forget that New Year's eve. He took us to a very fancy bash. Lisa couldn't believe that Shafiq could out party us! I think he came home several hours after we turned in. But perhaps I am most fond of him for how he was always ready willing and able to help my parents when they needed it most. When Dad started his mission to recover our properties, London was always his stepping stone. There were many years of frustration, of highs and lows, hope and despair. And through it all Uncle Shafiq and Auntie Leana would always provide a place of refuge. We will always be grateful for their wonderful hospitality and always be willing to reciprocate should the occasion arise. I know from experience how difficult it will be for Auntie Leana. When a spouse passes away, especially one as vibrant as Shafiq, a void is created that can never be filled. In the years after my Dad passed away, even with 3 children and six grandchildren at her side, I'm sure Mum had many bouts of loneliness, and so it was always a treat for her to hear from Shafiq, Leana and Helena, amongst others. I know Auntie Leana has many friends and I would encourage you all to keep in touch as we will endeavour to do. To my cousins, I can only say I share your grief. He loved you all very much. You will miss his guidance but his spirit will remain with you. Your father was a great man, an intimidating presence; a tough act to follow no doubt, a man of tremendous intelligence, wisdom, humour; a bon vivant, a charismatic leader; an icon of our family; the best uncle anyone could hope for; but most of all I will remember him for his generosity, loyalty, kindness and compassion. We loved and admired him immensely and will miss him more than you could imagine. He is gone from our lives, but never from our hearts. Rory Godinho